All World Cup Team

Ronaldo celebrates his spot on the All-World Cup Team; unfortunately, England thinks it was him who inexplicably tried to castrate Ricardo Carvalho. Kill the bloody wanker!



Now that we're coming to the end of what has been a hugely entertaining tournament, one full of hotly contested games, powerhouse matchups, compelling stories, and the requisite controversies, it's time to look at the most important ingredient in this here recipe: the players who make this tournament what it is - the best sporting event on earth. So here they are, the best 11 from the 2006 World Cup:

Goalkeeper: Gianluigi Buffon, Italy

On Italy's journey to the final, Buffon allowed one goal in six games...and it was an own goal, no less. He shut down the likes of Nedved, Rosicky, Essien, Shevchenko, Ballack, Klose, and Podolski. And he did all this while jetting back to Italia to testify in the Serie A scandal and check on his friend and former teammate Gianluca Pessotto. Best in the world - and there's no question about it. Jens Lehmann, completely dislikable as he may be, would make a fine backup.

Defender: Lilian Thuram, France

He will be retiring after the tournament, a la Zidane. Like his teammate on les Bleus, Thuram has gone out with a bang. He has marshalled a fantastic French backline and helped turn the likes of Sagnol and Abidal into world-beaters. His centerback partner, William Gallas, could easily be on this team as well. Both of them were instrumental in shutting down the world-class attacks of Brazil, Spain, and Portugal - holding the three of them to a grand total of zero goals.

Defender: Fabio Cannavaro, Italy

See Gianluigi Buffon above. Cannavaro is the best in the world. At 32, he has reached that perfect age for defenders: experienced enough to know all the tricks of the trade, but still young enough to be quick and strong enough to battle the best strikers in the world. His performances against Australia, when he led the Azzurri to a win despite playing the second half a man down, and against Germany, when he stayed strong in the face of some spirited German attacking and 65,000 of their most rabid fans, were simply epic.

Defender: Roberto Fabian Ayala, Argentina

Like Cannavaro, he gets better with age. Ayala is the hard man for the Albiceleste and it was his toughness that provided the perfect compliment to the grace and style of the Argentinian attackers. He partnerred beautifully with Gabriel Heinze, another South American defender that you expect to decapitate someone at any time. Shame he missed a penalty against the Germans because it was his goal that had given Argentina the lead and his take-no-prisoners defending that had almost helped them make it last the 90 minutes.

Defender: John Terry, England

I know, I know, that's four centerbacks and no wingbacks. Sorry, but there are no wingbacks that were really too impressive in Germany, other than the host nation's Phillip Lahm, and heck, it's my team. Terry belongs with the best of them. You got the feeling watching England that the only way they were going to be beaten was from penalties - no one looked like scoring against them, even Portugal when they were playing a man up. Only in the second half against Sweden did Terry and the England backline look beatable. His tears after the Portugal loss told the story of a player that did everything possible and more to help his team win, deserved to advance, but had instead fallen victim to that most unfair of practices, the penalty shoot-out. Hey FIFA, if you're reading this blog (and I know you are, ole Seppy you devil), no mas penalties: have the teams play extra time until a golden goal wins it - the teams will have to attack and we won't have to watch inferior teams sit back & defend because they're too nervous to attack and they'd rather take their chances with penalties. It's bogus, boring, and bad for the game.

Midfielder: Torsten Frings, Germany

In my mind, the deepest position at this tournament has been that of defensive midfielder. It's pretty hard to choose between the likes of Frings, Maniche, Owen Hargreaves, Claude Makelele, Javier Mascherano, and Gennaro Gattuso. Still, Frings wins it on the strength of his masterful shut-down of Argentina's Riquelme; if he hadn't been suspended, who knows how Germany would have fared against Italy's Pirlo and Totti. Frings was one of those anonymous players who managed to nullify the opponent's playmaker time and time again, as well as freeing his teammate Ballack to concern himself with more attacking duties. Now if only he can learn not to sucker-punch opponents after the game...

Midfielder: Andrea Pirlo, Italy

Pirlo is one of those unique players that plays as a deep-lying midfielder, alongside a more defensive partner, who fills a role similar to the point-guard in basketball: control the ball, distribute it, and dictate the pace of the game with calm precision, vision, and direction. Pirlo plays this role to perfection. He had few equals in this tournament, but Spain's Xabi Alonso comes to mind. He was the base of Spain's beautiful, pass-oriented play.

Midfielder: Patrick Vieira, France

Coming into the tournament, everyone thought that Vieira was done. He had been discarded by Arsenal's Arsene Wenger and was coming off a farely pedestrian season at Juventus. By all accounts, his best days were behind him and, after an unimpressive start to this tournament, there were few who could argue; but like the rest of the France team, Vieira seemed to come to life in the knock-out phase. After his attackers finally started to put the ball in the net in the second half against Togo, Vieira was simply fantastic in the games against Spain and Brazil. It was his header that put les Bleus ahead to stay against the Spaniards; then in the quarterfinals, he combined with Makelele to disrupt all of Brazil's attacks. Again in the semis, Vieira was a instrumental in containing all of Portugal's dangerous attacking trio of Figo, Ronaldo, and Deco. Vieira was a tower of strength for France and it was his powerful play in midfield that opened games up for the great...

Midfielder: Zinedine Zidane, France

After leaving the soccer world in awe with his unbelievable skill and astounding grace from 1998 to 2003, during which time he won the World Cup and European Championships with France, the Serie A with Juvenuts, and the Champions League and Primera Liga titles with Real Madrid, this World Cup was supposed to be Zidane's farewell. Coming on the heels of three underwhelming seasons with Real, the signs were there that it was time to say goodbye. When he was substituted with minutes remaining in France's draw with South Korea, having already picked up a yellow card that would suspend him for the final group game, millions of other fans and I hoped that we might somehow get a chance to see the master play again. Boy, did we ever. He showed glimpses of his '98 form with a match-winning performance against Spain, which he capped off with an injury time goal, but in the quarters against Brazil he was the best in the world again. While everyone expected Ronaldinho and Brazil to send the ole man packing, Zidane had other ideas. He was man-of-the-match by a mile. His flick over Ronaldo, rooted to the ground in awe (or just too fat to move), was a thing of beauty, but it was his dance around three Brazilians as he surged upfield that will be one of the lasting images of the Cup. His performance in the semi against Portugal was another taste of Zidane's genius, one more glimpse of an artist at work.

Forward: Cristiano Ronaldo, Portugal

Love him or hate him, everyone has an opinion on Ronaldo (the one who weighs less than 200 pounds) - and at the moment, all of England feels the exact same way - not his biggest fan. If Ronaldo's hi-lited head is found floating in the Douro, you'll know what happened. But I say, "bollocks". Listen here, Ingerland, don't be bitter because your wonderboy striker is a hothead lunatic thug who lost his head and kicked an opponent in the nuts. Ronaldo didn't get Rooney sent off any more than any of the other Portugal players did; the fact that he and Rooney are teammates at ManU is irrelevant. Kids in grade school know that your teammates are the ones wearing the same jersey as you, not the ones you play with for another team or the ones who are your friends. And I'll be the first to say that players asking for red cards is reprehensible, but not when a guy has just tried to castrate your teammate. But enough of that, Ronaldo is here because he is simply the best winger in the tournament. It's tough to know where to put players like him (in midfield, up front...), but Ronaldo belongs with the best of them. Along with Hargreaves and Terry, he was one of only a few players who impressed in that quarterfinal, but he was also excellent in the first round and looked like Portugal's most dangerous player against the French. Yeah, he needs to pass more and look to shoot rather than go for that 15th step-over and maybe he should stop impersonating Greg Louganis all game long, but he'll learn. Now whether or not Rooney learns not to stomp on a guy's nuts, that's another story.

Forward: Miroslav Klose, Germany

From the opening match against Costa Rica, Klose was an absolute terror to defenders. He might not look like much, but he's big and strong and great in the air. His forward tandem with Podolski was easily the best in the tournament, using that tried-and-true big guy/little guy formula; their link-ups against Sweden were fantastic. Without his off-the-ball run and header against Argentina, it's doubtful that the Germans would have managed to score against that defense. Even when he wasn't scoring, Klose was always causing problems. His Golden Boot is fully deserved.

Coach: Jurgen Klinsmann, Germany

The odds going into the Cup that Klinsmann would take this honor were slim to none; in fact, it was the latter since this blog didn't even exist, but I digress. It is hard to imagine the guts and conviction that it must have taken for Klinsmann to ignore all of the criticisms, near-rebellions, and, heck, evidence (4-1 vs Italy) and remain true to his plan, players, and methods. But he did and today all of Germany would thank him for it. Not only did he lead them to the semifinals, but he did so by playing an attractive, attacking brand of footie that is rarely seen in German teams. More power to him. Big Phil Scolari also warrants mentioning here, as does Marcello Lippi, who led his team to victory when they had every possible excuse to lose.

Substitutes:

Simply because there are more players who deserve to be on the team but aren't, we'll allow ourselves three substitutes. At the back, ze Mannschaft's Phillip Lahm was one of the revelations of this tournament. Busted up arm and all, he surged forward on the left. Lahm has to be considered one of the best left-backs in the world at this time, in part because there is such a dearth of talent at that position, but also because of his gutsy performances over the past few weeks. In midfield, Ze Roberto was one of few, if any, Brazilians who acquitted themselves well in Germany. Playing out of position as a defensive midfielder alongside Emerson, Ze Roberto stole the show. It was his tireless running and sharp defending that Brazil needed to let their Magic Quartet (Ronaldo, Ronaldinho, Adriano, and Kaka) do their thing. Of course, their thing turned out to be eating, sleeping, and getting an early start on vacation. Up front, Spain's Francisco Torres finally lived up to the hype. He was a menace to defenses in the first round, but like so many others was kept in check by the French back four. Still, combined with a lack of other top-notch strikers in this tournament, Torres did enough in only a couple games to earn a spot on this squad. In just two all-too-brief weeks, 'El Nino' turned into 'El Hombre', a scary proposition for defenses throughout Spain and Europe.

So I guess you could call that "World Soccer Blogger + 10". No word on when my adidas commercial will be filmed. Stay tuned.