Sold Like a Boat

Ronaldo to Inter: "Mmm, ravioli, delicious...it's so good when it hits your lips".








24 hours and counting until the transfer market closes in Europe, so clubs across the continent are furiously racing to beat the clock and snag a few more key signings before it's too late. Almost every major club is still working on one deal or another: Man United continues to chase Bayern's Owen Hargreaves because they failed to sign Inter's Patrick Vieira, whose new club are after Real's Ronaldo now that Milan turned their attention to Betis' Oliveira, who will be leaving that club along with Joaquin, sought by Valencia, who are trying to hang on to Roberto Ayala, who is rumored to be headed to Villareal, who signed Robert Pires from Arsenal, who might lose Ashley Cole to Chelsea, who acquired Michael Ballack from Bayern, who sold Paolo Guerrero to Hamburg, who must replace the departed Sergej Barbarez who moved to Bayer Leverkusen, who need to find a substitute for Dmitar Berbatov, now a Tottenham player, but not a teammate of former Spurs star Michael Carrick, sold to none other than Man United. Got it? Oh, nevermind. It's all one big frenzy anyway, what with all of the rumors in the press and misleading comments by the clubs, so trying to stay make sense of it before the smoke clears come August 31 is a near impossibility. Having never been one to back done from such an exercise in futility, we'll still give it a shot anyway.

No discussion of this summer's transfer activity can start anywhere else but Turin. The city in the north of Italy, home to troubled superclub Juventus, has seen a mass exodus of its footballing heroes. No sooner had the courts finished reading the guilty verdict sentencing Juve to Serie B (and minus-17 points at that) had the vultures, er, other teams pounced on Juve's array of superstars. Not a captain to go down with his ship, coach Fabio Capello jetted off to Real Madrid, bringing defender Fabio Cannavaro and midfielder Emerson with him. Another duo soon to follow them to Spain were defenders Gianluca Zambrotta and Lilian Thuram who joined Euro champs Barcelona. Shortly thereafter midfielder Patrick Vieira and striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic were off to Inter Milan. Oh, and striker Adrian Mutu moved down to Tuscan giants Fiorentina. And there's still more to come: winger Mauro Camoranesi is clearly unwilling to stay with the club and striker David Trezeguet may also move on to pastures new. Anytime a major European club has a summer firesale, you can expect it to have a ripple effect throughout the other top leagues, but of course no country will feel the impact quite like Italy. All of a sudden, Inter have been declared last year's champs as part of Juve's punishment and the Nerazzurri have now raided Juve's ranks for two of its best players - how the tide has turned, no? In fact, no side in the world has spent as more than Massimo Moratti's Inter: as well as Vieira and Ibra, Internazionale has brought in Hernan Crespo from Chelsea, Fabio Grosso from Palermo, Olivier Dacourt from Roma, Maxwell from Ajax, and Maicon from Monaco, giving coach Roberto Mancini a wealth of talent to work with. I mean, Moratti makes Roman Abramovich look like a cheapskate. The only question now is not if there is enough talent at Inter, but if they can mold all of it into a team equal to the sum of its parts. To start with, which of his star strikers will Mancini relegate to the bench? And what will happen when Adriano (or Ronaldo) or Crespo or Ibrahimovic realizes that they're nothing more than a substitute? Across town, Milan have done next to nothing this summer (outside of court, that is) - not exactly the revolution that everyone demanded after watching the aging Rossoneri lose out to Juve in the Serie A and get dominated by Barca (though the scoreline didn't show it) in the Champions League semis. Further south, Roma continue to follow Arsene Wenger's model of bringing in top young talent by acquiring Chilean David Pizarro, deemed surplus to requirements amidst this summer's Inter influx. He should fit in beautifully in a side already stocked with the likes of Daniele de Rossi, Simone Perrotta, Christian Chivu, Phillippe Mexes, Mancini, and Francesco Totti, who should put de bulge in de ole onion bag dozens of times this year. I'd write more, but I don't want to spoil your appetite for WSB's Serie A preview, coming sometime next week.

Along with Inter, another club that has improved immeasurably is Real Madrid. Despite a general feeling among the Madrid fanbase that the club needed to offload its aging group of superstars and start anew with young blood (a process they started last year by signing Robinho, Julio Baptista, Sergio Ramos, Cassano, and Cicinho), new coach Fabio Capello seems to disagree. After watching the veterans of France and Italy do battle in the World Cup final, few Madrilenos can argue that there's something to be said for experience. In steps Fabio Cannavaro, Emerson, Ruud van Nistelrooy, and Mahamadou Diarra, but more importantly what Capello has done is give Madrid the equilibrium it has so desperately lacked in recent years. It's no coincidence that ever since los Blancos jettisoned defensive pitbull Claude Makelele and centerback Fernando Hierro a few years ago, they've won a grand total of zero trophies, a string that wouldn't even be considered a drought at most other clubs but at Real is just about as bad as it gets. Capello's teams may not play exciting footie, but such a strong defensive backbone should give the offensive end of the team, including Antonio Cassano, Robinho, Raul, Ronaldo (or Adriano), Guti and Van Nistelrooy (to call it an impressive attack is like saying that Bill Gates has a modest savings account) the freedom and confidence it needs to push forward. Watch out, Barca. But I'd say that another la Liga side, Real Zaragoza, really made the signing of the summer in bringing in Argentine Pablo "El Payasito" Aimar. The little guy has had some injury issues in past seasons, but when he's healthy he's every bit as good as Milan's Kaka and Villareal's Riquelme. Don't say I didn't warn you. Down south, Sevilla got the fantastic Dane Christian Poulsen to boost their midfield, while Madrid's city rivals Atletico had a busy summer, but the real steal of the bunch should prove to be young Argentine Sergio Aguero. Barca got their two Juve cast-offs and Chelsea's Eidur Gudjohnsen, but with their star-studded squad they hardly needed a lot of help.

Speaking of "galacticos, another team full of stars, Roman Abramovich's Chelski, has hauled in two studs of its own: Michael Ballack and Andriy Shevchenko. Yep, the rich get richer, but is Jose Mourinho making the same mistake Real did a few years ago and forgetting about his defense in favor of big-name offensive stars? Sorry, but Khalid Bouhlarouz ain't no William Gallas. Across town, this man's two cents says that Arsene Wenger made a much more astute signing in Czech playmaker Tomas Rosicky than anyone that Mourinho or Sir Alex brought in. Ditto for Tottenham picking up midfield dynamo Didier Zokora, who should be a more-than-adequate sub for the departed Carrick. One player that both Spurs and the Gunners want to sign, Real's Julio Baptista, would be a super signing for either team - once he got his feet wet in his first season at the Bernabeu, he lived up to his nickname of "La Bestia" ("The Beast"), but Real appear willing to let him go as part of Capello's new No-Offense policy. But I digress. Up on Tyneside, Newcastle has done very well in acquiring Damien Duff and Obafemi Martins - more importantly, they've gotten rid of Jean-Alain Boumsong, which should help their goal average exponentially more than Duff and Martins combined (what's worse for Juve fans - the fact that their club is stripped of titles and relegated to Serie B or that they'll have to watch Boumsong in action for the next few years?). Another club short on strikers, Liverpool, had an excellent off-season, too: Rafa the Gaffa continued to raid the sunny shores of Spain for the likes of Chilean winger Mark Gonzalez (second-best British signing) and Brazilian left-back Fabio Aurelio, to go with troubleboys Craig Bellamy and Jermaine Pennant. Why he didn't sign Lee Bowyer, too, I will never know, but hey, if (nay, when) there's a massive bar-fight in Liverpool that ends with bloodshed and hospital stays, at least Scotland Yard will know who dun it.

One man that Newcastle desperately wanted but couldn't acquire was Werder Bremen's Miroslav Klose, who surprisingly stayed put after his impressive World Cup run, which is a good thing for Werder, who lost the excellent Nelson Haedo Valdez to Borussia Dortmund - he's this site's pick for Bundesliga signing of the summer. However, based on the first few games, Werder have done pretty well for themselves by getting Brazilian Diego to sign from Porto; the former teammate of Robinho at Santos has been absolutely sensational in his side's start to the season. Werder's main rivals for the title are, of course, Bayern Munich, who look to be close to acquiring Barca's Mark Van Bommel to replace Ballack. I've never been a fan of the Dutchman, so count me among those who think that Bayern will really miss Ballack, even more so if ManU manages to swipe Hargreaves, too. At the back, consider ginormous Belgian Daniel Van Buyten a massive upgrade over injured Valerien Ismael. Another Bayern-Hamburg deal was the Bavarians' acquisition of the promising Lukas Podolski, making another yung 'un, Paolo Guerrero, free to move in the other direction to Hamburg.

Seeing as my face is now dripping in sweat and my fingers are bleeding from typing this 36,000 word recap of Europe's frenetic summer of signings, I'm going to sign off here. And honestly, who really cares what clubs in Portugal or France or Holland did? (If you're reading this in any one of those countries, um, don't answer that) And if anything happens in the next 24 hours (and rest assured, it will), you can count on us to be covering it all here at World Soccer Blogger - that is, if we get the sensation back in our fingers.