Long time, no see!

Over before it began: Kehl (in ugly jersey) does battle with Hargreaves on Day 1 of the Bundesliga - the former went off injured, the latter could be off to England.




And we're baaacckkk!!! First, apologies for the week-long hiatus - call it a summer vacation, call it a result of the lack of action in the soccer world, call it whatever. But dammit, don't call it laziness - my mom used to call me that all the time & those wounds have yet to heal. In an effort to ease back into that nice, comfortable rhythm we'd established here at WSB, we'll start with a smorgasborg of snippets from the last week. Think of it as an appetizer platter - a full entree comes next week - you have my word.

Hell hath no fury like a mad Mourinho

Let the madness begin. Last week, Jose re-ignited his war of words with Liverpool's Rafa Benitez after his Blues went down 2-1 in the Community Shield. After the two managers didn't shake hands, Mourinho blamed it on his counterpart, claiming that he had waited for Benitez to shake his hand while Liverpool collected the trophy, but Benitez never approached him. Then the pissed-off Portuguese skipper sounded off on international friendlies, calling them a complete waste of time at a crucial moment before the start of the season when the players should be with their clubs. Agreed and agreed. How can anyone not concur with Mourinho when he says that no one should care if he shakes hands with Benitez or that - after a World Cup summer - the players should be training with their clubs. Case in point: Real Madrid's Brazilian international Cicinho played a full season with his club last year, then played in the World Cup, followed by a month-long vacation. In late August, he flew from Brazil to Austria to participate in pre-season training with Real, followed by going to the U.S. for two games in early August; then it was back to Madrid on Sunday, then up to Oslo to play a friendly against Norway in the middle of the week, and finally back to Spain for more pre-season action starting with a game Friday in Cadiz, one of the most southernmost cities in the Iberian peninsula. Yep, I'd say he'll be as fresh as Renton & Sick Boy after a week-long bender. The lesson, as always: FIFA are a bunch of idiots ruining the game we know & love. And there's one angry Portuguese prick in London who's not afraid to say so.

To heck with Becks

Steve McClaren, the man who got the England job on the basis of a few mediocre years at Middlesborough (a season ticket holder once ran onto the field to throw in ticket at McClaren's face) and some time spent assisting Sven Goran Erikkson in his underacheiving stint as the boss of the Brits, left Beckham off the team to play Greece last week. Sad day for a lot of female fans, but I'm more concerned with the rationale behind this decision. Becks, for all his baggage (read: Posh & a billion paparazzi), remains one of the best players in the world. Quick, name me five better passers in the world. Name me someone better from dead ball situations. Name me three English players that were better in the World Cup. Hate him all you want, but don't forget that he was at the core of half of England's goals in Germany - he did more for that team than Frank Lampard and Joe Cole combined. He might not be your typically pacey right winger or as enticing an option as a fan favorite like Gerrard or a promising youngster like Lennon, but Beckham is still an experienced leader, a fantastic passer, and a consistent example of devotion to the cause. I'll take him on my team any day, anorexic publicity-whore of a wife and all.

Ze Bundesliga iz noww unzerveih

With much fanfare and ear-bleeding Euro music, the Bundesliga kicked off on Friday. Bayern Munich did what they do - which is win - and Borussia Dortmund did what they do - which is wear hideous uniforms. See what I mean? Not too much of note, but the Borussians did unfortunately lose middie Sebastian Kehl to a long-term injury. Kehl ranks as one of the ten-best young defensive mids in the world and it was a shame to see him go down at the hands (or should I say cleats?) of a nasty studs-up tackle from the Bavarians' Hasan Salihamidzic. Massive loss for the Borussians. Speaking of dirty players, Hamburg sold Khalid Bouhlarouz, he of the hideous tackle on Cristiano Ronaldo in Wrestlemania XXII (aka Holland-Portugal '06), to Chelsea. Hey William Gallas, the exit is just down the hall on the right. However, Bayern's Owen Hargreaves may not have the same luck in ditching his club; the Englishman is jonesing for a move to ManU, but ze Germans appear ready to show some of that stereotypical resolve and not let him bolt back to Britain. Watch this space.

REALity bites

Nothing like kicking a man when he's down. Real Madrid, after a disastrous three years and a trying summer, are getting abused left and right by some of Europe's most famous clubs. Sure, it's always fun to pick on the bully for once, but what exactly did Real do that was so bad? It all started when AC Milan (not exactly a club that should be acting all high & mighty right now) called out Real for making an approach to their Brazilian wunderkind Kaka (means "poop" in Spanish). So yeah, maybe Real's new prez Ramon Calderon shouldn't have promised to sign Kaka in an effort to get elected, but how often do you get a chance to win an election by telling your fans, "I'll bring you s**t"? Then it was Olympique Lyon's Jean Michael Aulas who joined the fray; after Real attempted to negotiate with them for their Mali middie Mahamadou Diarra, Aulas ripped the Spaniards for having the nerve to try to sign one of their players a mere two weeks before the close of the transfer market. Seeing as Real signed Ronaldo about half an hour before it closed a few years ago, maybe we shouldn't be surprised. And then, another Frenchman, Arsenal's Arsene Wenger, claimed that Real are guilty of illegally approaching players (specifically Arsenal's Jose Antonio Reyes) all over Europe, but never really making concrete and genuine offers to buy them from their clubs; basically, Wenger said, they just go around de-stabilizing top players without ever buying them. Call me crazy, but by all accounts Real did in fact make real offers for Reyes, Diarra, and Kaka. And it was Real themselves who were the victims of AC Milan making an approach to their striker Ronaldo last week. The bottom line is that, as Wenger said, Real don't behave like a big club should; but then again, neither does AC Milan or Chelsea or ManU. Welcome to the soccer world 2006, where players hold all the cards and clubs are simply at the mercy of the superstars - it's a free-for-all now, and the bigger and better you are as a player or as a club, the more power you have. Now if the clubs all got together and agreed to keep their hands off of each other's stars, then something might change - but c'mon, that's like asking Ronaldo to lay off the empanadas.

Speaking of which, we hope you enjoyed the mozzarella sticks, chicken fingers, and buffalo wings that we dished out today. Don't worry about paying for this one - it's on the house. Back again next week. Until then, have a good weekend (especially all my fans in Fiji).