England: 2006-2007 Premiership Preview

Mourinho welcomes Ballack & Sheva to Chelsea: Best in the world or too much of a good thing?





Trivia question (winner gets a free tank of gas): What club team had the most players participating in this summer's World Cup? Hint: they wear blue, play boring soccer, have a jerk for a coach, and are making the English Premiership less entertaining than a month-long scrabble tourney. That's right, Chelski have a whopping 17 World Cup stars on their roster, which may explain their last two Premiership titles. However, an even more important number might be 818, as in the millions (yep, millions) of dollars that Russian oil magnate Roman Abramovich has spent on acquiring new players since buying the club back in 2003. Looking at the trophy case, it's been money well spent, but factoring in the club's lack of success in Europe, completely underwhelming style of play, and universal dislikability, you can't say that it's been all smooth sailing for the Blues. Does this mean that they won't be lifting the Premiership trophy for a third-straight year this season? Well, let's not get carried away here, but read on just for the hell of it.

It's been an unusual off-season for the big guns of the EPL. Chelsea spent millions buying big-name stars, Liverpool brought in some fresh Latin blood, Arsenal snapped up a great young talent from the Continent, and ManU overpaid to get a defensive midfielder. Shocking! And this doesn't even factor in that Newcastle failed to address their Swiss-cheese-like defense (stop me if you've heard this before), Bolton signed an overrated and unwanted international star, and Spurs smartly acquired an excellent up-and-coming midfielder. Some things never change, and definitely not the ways of gentlemen like Abramovich and his trusty coach, Jose Mourinho.

Just like Real Madrid did a few years ago, these two men have been busy raiding some of the world's biggest clubs to sign their best players (but Chelsea actually pay attention to their defense). This season, the fans at Stamford Bridge will be treated to the sight of Michael Ballack and Andriy Shevchenko, signed away from Bayern Munich and AC Milan, respectively; but do these signings make Chelsea a much improved team? Well, the answer, surprisingly, is no. Ballack plays almost the exact same style as fellow midfield marauder Frank Lampard, an attacking, driving middie who loves to push forward into attack as much as possible. And if anyone tuned in to the action in Germany this summer, it's clear that Lampard's play deteriorates dramatically when he doesn't have the center of the pitch at his disposal; Steven Gerrard's presence in the England eleven reduced Lampard's space in midfield, decreased his effect on the game, and generally made him a shadow of the player that he is for Chelsea. Mourinho is clearly a coach who believes that you can't have too much talent, that great players make a team better no matter what; Mourinho's problem is one that most coaches in the world would love to have: how do I pick a team from all these great players, keep them all happy, and live up to the sky-high expectations. Last year, a visibily unhappy Mourinho said that he had the most thankless coaching job in sports, since if he won, then he had only accomplished what everyone expected him to, but if he lost, then he had done the unthinkable and failed spectactularly. Cry me a river, Jose. I guess we should all pity the Portuguese genius even more now that he's got Ballack and Sheva to deal with. Not only will Ballack play a similar role to Lampard in midfield, but Sheva will do many of the same things that Hernan Crespo did for Chelsea last year. The Argentine striker has demanded a move back to sunny Italy, so in steps the Ukrainian to take his place. Sheva is definitely an upgrade over Crespo, but not as much of one as some might think. And where does this leave Didier Drogba? If anyone in that squad will not be okay coming off the bench, it's the Ivory Coast forward. And in Mourinho's favored 4-5-1, there's only room for one striker and that'll be Sheva. In fact, surprising as it might be, the one summer signing that could pay the most dividends for Chelsea over the years is not Ballack or Sheva, but rather Nigerian wunderkind Mikel John Obi (not a Star Wars character, it turns out). Another change for the Blues this year could be an increased role for Michael Essien; the Ghanian looks set to step in more frequently for aging hardman Claude Makelele - but just as Madrid fell apart after Makelele's move to London, I can't help but wonder if Chelsea will struggle to replace him at the Bridge. After all, Essien is much more of an attacking mid than Makelele. A central midfield of Lampard, Essien, and Ballack strikes me as an overcrowded one. Even at the back, undoubtedly Chelsea's strength over the past two seasons, the Blues may be showing some weaknesses. For my money (and that's not much - this blogging gig doesn't pay too well), William Gallas is the best defender on that team, along with John Terry. The Frenchman is powerful, versatile, and just entering his prime; now he wants out, and Mourinho's decision to give Ballack the Frenchman's #13 shirt will not do much to mend the strained relationship between Gallas and Chelsea. If they lose him - and at the moment all signs suggest they will - then Chelsea will be surprisingly thin at the back. Terry and Ricardo Carvalho will be their only centerbacks, with Robert Huth's on again-off again move to Middlesborough still up in the air. Still, this is Chelsea, meaning that quality reinforcements, such as Arsenal's Ashley Cole for one, should be on the way. In the end, any doubts over Lampard's coexistence with Ballack, Makelele's decline, Sheva's uneasy battle with Drogba, a thin back four, and possible fatigue from all their participation in the World Cup, may be overcome by the simple fact that this team has too much talent to fail. Even if all of these worst-case scenarios materialize, there might not be any other teams in the EPL capable of matching Chelsea's strength in numbers.

If there is one challenger that can separate itself from the rest, it is Rafael Benitez's excellent Liverpool side. The Spaniard has turned the club into a veritable airport hangar of arrivals and departures; the influx of talent into Anfield has only been matched by the wave of players heading out of the revolving door. This summer has been no different. While the likes of Fernando Morientes, Dietmar Hamann, and Djibril Cisse have exited, the Kop will be pleased to see Chilean winger Mark Gonzalez, Brazilian leftback Fabio Aurelio, and English convicts, er, troublemakers, er, attackers Jermaine Pennant and Craig Bellamy donning the Liverpool red. Aside from the fact that Benitez is turning Liverpool into Cincinnati Bengals East, the new signings should be good ones. The real steals will prove to be Gonzalez and Aurelio, who will turn the Liverpool left wing into a new M6. Gonzalez is as fast and tricky as they come, while Aurelio is the latest in a long line of fantastic Brazilian fullbacks (see Carlos, Roberto); how Valencia ever let him get away, I will never know. Still, where does this leave John Arne Riise and Harry Kewell? Did Liverpool even have a need for these new signings? And why does Benitez continue to sign wingers when his best options up front are Peter "Bambi On Ice" Crouch, Robbie "Boogie Nights" Fowler, and the hot-headed Bellamy? Liverpool, like Chelsea and Newcastle before them, seem to be under the impression that you can't have too many midfielders. While this obviously makes sense as more and more teams employ the 4-5-1 formation, you have to wonder where Liverpool's goals will come from. Xabi Alonso and Gerrard remain the best midfield duo in the Premiership - nay, the world - but who will be in the box to get on the end of their fantastic passes? If there's one Achilles heel that will keep Benitez's boys from challenging Chelsea, it's a dearth of quality strikers. In that sense, "You'll Never Walk Alone" makes an ironic serenade to Liverpool's crowded midfielders and lonely strikers.

Another manager that has been busy making quality signings is, of course, the world's best talent-spotter, one Arsene Wenger of Arsenal. This year's coup was the purchase of Czech prodigy Tomas Rosicky from Borussia Dortmund. Simply put, Rosicky is one of the best playmakers in the world, a natural #10, the perfect link between Cesc Fabregas and Thierry Henry, and one of the few players worthy of being mentioned as a possible successor to the retired Dennis Bergkamp. Before long, he will be the prince of the sparkling new Emirates Stadium. It is absolutely amazing the way that Wenger consistently brings in amazing young players and then grooms them into world superstars; in my humble opinion, he's the best manager in the world. Of course, he'll have to find a way to replicate Arsenal's Champions League form of last year in this year's domestic campaign. To do this, it appears that he will have to overcome the loss of Jose Antonio Reyes, who has been craving a move back to Spain to take part in Fabio Capello's revolution at the Bernabeu; the Spanish winger will be tough to replace, but Robin Van Persie showed some positive signs at the World Cup of being the man to do just that. And there are other reasons for optimism: Henry has elected to stay in London, Cesc will only get better and better, and this could be Theo Walcott's break-out year (post World Cup, bizarrely enough) - they may not challenge crosstown rivals Chelsea for the title, but Arsenal will mount a much stronger challenge than last year.

Up in the Northeast, the same cannot be said for Manchester United. Yes, they managed to overcome a torrent of injuries to finish second to Chelsea last year. Yes, Michael Carrick is an upgrade over Darren Fletcher, John O'Shea, Alan Smith, and any other warm body that Sir Alex Ferguson could plug into the central midfield slot. And yes, they do have two of the best youngsters in the world at their respective positions in right winger Cristiano Ronaldo and striker Wayne Rooney. Unfortunately, injured or not, players like Paul Scholes, Ryan Giggs, and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer (fantastic name - my first-born will definitely be given the middle name "Gunnar") are d-u-n done; Fergie overpaid to get Carrick, who looks like he may be their only off-season signing; and Rooney and Ronaldo may or may not wish a slow painful death on each other after their little World Cup tift this summer. (Tangent alert! For everyone who is worried about how Ronaldo will overcome the abuse to which he will be subjected this season at stadiums around England, since when has he not been United's most despised player? Since when have opposing crowds not hated him? This is the same kid who played against his hometown club Benfica in the Champions League last year and was so jeered so relentlessly that he flicked off the crowd as he left the pitch! I don't think this year will be anything new for the little Portuguese pretty boy) Anyway, there are just too many holes in ManU's current squad for this team to hope for anything better than a Champions League place: they are thin at centerback after Rio Ferdinand and the underrated Gabriel Heinze, Patrice Evra and Mickael Silvestre are just not good enough at leftback, they have no one but Carrick in midfield, Ji-Sung Park or Park Ji-Sung or Ji-what-Park-Song is not the answer on the left wing, and there is no true #9 (sorry, Louis Saha) to replace Ruud van Nistelrooy (Why is the "van" sometimes capitalized and sometimes not? Or am I just wrong half the time? Can we get an answer on this?). If Fergie can get the Glazers to open their purses one more time to buy Villareal's Spanish destroyer Marcos Senna, then that will be an important addition for them, but overall there is just not enough firepower to challenge Chelsea, Fergie has not been as successful as Wenger or Benitez at bringing in young talent (aside from Ronaldo & Rooney), and there just isn't enough money at Old Trafford anymore for the Red Devils to be the team they once were. On the plus side, how hilarious is it to listen to Fergie bitch and moan about how Chelsea & Abramovich's million-dollar squad is ruining the sport of soccer? Puhleeze. How many years was ManU at the top of the spending spree list? How many times was ManU able to outbid everyone else as they bragged about their status as the world's richest club? Well, Fergie, the tables have turned - deal with it. And here's a hint: the best way to beat Chelsea is not by blowing all of your spending money on Ji-Sung Park, Nemanja Vidic, Liam Miller, Louis Saha, and Alan Smith. But hey, Kleberson and Eric Djemba-Djemba send their regards.

Ultimately, Chelsea should once again prove to have too much talent for the rest of grand ole Engaland, but this year should be closer than the past two. The boys at Stamford Bridge, after crashing out to eventual champs Liverpool and Barcelona the last two years, should put more of their effort into winning the Champions League, which could prove detrimental to their domestic form. With the exciting players on display at Liverpool and Arsenal, their challengers could pull a shocker and unseat the reigning king; still, don't bet on it. ManU will comfortably take the fourth Champions League spot, but after that it's anyone's guess. Tottenham have made a great purchase in Ivory Coast midfielder Didier Zokora, who should be a nice addition to a midfielder already featuring Jermaine Jenas, Edgar Davids, Danny Murphy, and Aaron Lennon, but the loss of Ledley King for a few months makes them way too weak at the back. Newcastle, with Kieron Dyer, Scott Parker, Emre, Nobby Solano, Chuck N'Zogbia, and new boy Damien Duff, is one of the few teams in the league that can rival the midfield riches of Chelsea and Liverpool, but their defense and attack just don't match up. Boumsong and Bramble continue to be the biggest joke in world soccer; somewhere, Grahame Souness is unemployed. Bolton have done what Bolton do and signed an unwanted big-name player, Quinton Fortune, who might be South Africa's best player, but what does that really say? Middlesborough are now managed by Gareth Southgate - enough said. Fulham, with Americans Brian McBride and Carlos "Blackmouth" Bocanegra, could spring a surprise and grab a UEFA Cup spot. Two other teams to watch out for are Charlton, who have managed to hang on to striker Darren Bent, and Manchester City, home of the man-who-should-have-been-England manager Stuart Pearce and two world-class midfielders in Joey Barton and former Yankee captain Claudio Reyna - look for Oasis' favorite team to make a big jump in the league table this year. All in all, despite the growing gap between the big four clubs and the rest of the league and Chelsea's continued domination at the top, there's a lot to look forward to this year in the EPL. As we mentioned in our Bundesliga preview, great fans, fantastic stadiums, and world-class talent are the key ingredients in any league - England, unlike Italy, has it all. Unfortunately, there'll be no more Highbury to savor, but Old Trafford, Anfield, and St. James' Park are still as good as it gets. So grab a lager or twelve, pull up a seat at the pub, and get ready to enjoy one of the best sporting spectacles in the world: that crazy, fast-paced, super-intense, oil-filled footie festival that is the English Premiership. Oh, and not to ruin the suspense, but here's how it's going to finish when all is said and done:

1. Chelski (Now outfitted by adidas, in a major coup for the German designers, because...)
2. Liverpool (...will also be switchng to adidas this year)
3. Arsenal
4. ManU
5. Newcastle (Over-under on games played before Boumsong costs the team a win: 1/2)
6. Tottenham (I can't be the only person who finds Martin Jol scarier than Kaiser Soze, can I?)
7. Bolton
8. Man City (Pearce & Barton could kill people, even each other, and I wouldn't be surprised)
9. Fulham
10. Everton (They're only here by default, but watch out for Mikel Arteta - the boy can play)