Are you serious???

Apparently Maxi Rodriguez has the same effect on your author that Christian Laettner has on Thomas Hill

There are goals, there are gols, and then there are "golazo, golazo, gooollllaaazzzooooo!"s that make you leap out of your seat like someone stuck a lit firecracker up your ass, yell at the TV in complete disbelief, and stand there making the Thomas Hill face for 30 seconds before you come to grips with the fact that what you saw really actually happened. That was Maxi Rodriguez's golazo against Mexico. I have no other words to describe it. Golazo. Golazo!!! Golfreakinazo!!!!!

Up to that point, the complete role-reversal that I had predicted had inexplicably taken place. Argentina's worst fears had been realized: their players were playing like their boots were made of lead (I think I actually saw Lionel Scaloni crap his pants), the Albiceleste couldn't seem to get a grip on the game in midfield, Lavolpe had his equipo ready to play, el Tricolor were playing confident, nothing-to-lose soccer, and they got the all-important first goal after only 4 minutes. Had Argentina not scored off an own-goal by Borgetti just five minutes later there is no telling what would have happened. Even with the game knotted at 1, Argentina looked nothing like the team that run rampant through the group stage. They looked terribly nervous, a sentiment shared by their fans, especially aficionado numero uno Diego Maradona who was seen rocking back and forth like Leo Mazzone during another Braves collapse. Argentina is a team that, a lot like Spain, plays a possession-based game; the Albiceleste expect to win the possession battle 60%-40%, allowing Riquelme the control of the ball that he needs to dissect the oppossing defense. In a damning example of Esteban Cambiasso's dreadful performance, Mexico held the advantage in possession at the half. In fact, Argentina could consider themselves lucky to start the second half with 11 men; had Markus Merk or Graham Poll been the man in the middle instead of Switerland's Massimo Busacca, Gabriel Heinze would surely have earned a straight red for his tackle on Fonseca in first half injury time. As it was, Argentina started the second half making the same mistakes of the first - their play made it seem as if they thought that they held were winning the game: dropping far too deep in defense, reliniquishing possession, playing with no sense of urgency, and never looking to counter-attack with pace are all characteristics of a team with the lead, not one locked in a tie game in the second round of the World Cup. However, as the second half went on, as playmakers like Carlitos Tevez and Pablo Aimar and Lionel Messi entered the game, Argentina's play improved noticeably. Riquelme, who put in a disturbingly subdued performance, began to see more of the ball. And with time winding down, the Albiceleste scored a perfectly legitimate goal thanks to some beautiful combination play from Aimar and Messi, but as has become all too common in this tourney, a referee's mistake nullified it on a non-existent offsides call. The game went to extra time, where thanks to the speed and unpredictability of Pekerman's three playmaking subs, Argentina looked the better team. Still, it would take an absolute golazo-azo-azo for them to advance. To quote one of ESPN's few watchable commentators, Maxi Rodriguez is clutch, and clutch is everything in life.

Argentina now moves on to face Germany in Berlin on Friday. If Argentina puts in another uninspired performance against the hosts, who looked simply breathtaking in their 2-0 slaughter of Sweden today, it will be another long flight back to Buenos Aires for the boys in blue. Pekerman must replace Scaloni, who was so badly abused today that the Argentine right wing turned into a Mexican version of the Autobahn, with a healthy Nicolas Burdisso or Fabrizio Coloccini, as well as demand a much-improved performance from Cambiasso, who will be facing Germany's imperious Michael Ballack in midfield. Captain Juampi Sorin must also play far better than he did today; still, no one is more important for the Argentines than Riquelme - unless he can find a way to have more of an influence on the game, Argentina will be in big trouble in Berlin. It should be a fantastic match, one that will pit two soccer superpowers against each other with a berth to the semifinals at stake, and one that no soccer fan can afford to miss. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go pick my jaw up off the floor and watch about 80 replays of Maxi's golazo...